Imaginary Lover
by Ju.Bella.tion
Summary: Fed up with continually being asked out on dates, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper invent her Mr Perfect -Emmetts tall, bronze haired, green-eyed cousin. What happens when Edward moves to forks for senior year and the girlfiend he never knew he had?
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

_Thud....._

_Thud....._

_Thud......_

_GO AWAY!!!_

_Thud......._

I lifted my head from my pillow and glanced over at the alarm clock, 7.30 the bright red numbers flashed back at me. Who the hell dared to wake me so early on a Saturday morning. Slowly I staggered from my bad and made my way downstairs, the thudding on the door continually resounding in my head.

I threw open the front door and looked up at my best friend Emmett just about ready to slam his giant fist back into the wood. Quickly I ducked preventing myself from being hit.

"What the hell Emmett it's 7.30 " I screamed at him. I'll never be a morning person, a fact Emmett was all too aware of "you know better than to wake me up before noon on a Saturday. One day of the week I get to have a long lie....one day Christ...can't a girl get to lie in bed one day" I ranted.

I walked into the small kitchen of the house I shared with my father not knowing if he had followed me or not and at this moment in time I could have cared less.

"Stupid guys don't understand that us girls need a some beauty sleep ….like to see him trying to wake Rosie at 7.30 on a Saturday morning... she'd probably rip his balls off and shove them down his throat" I mumbled to myself switching on the coffee maker.

"Sorry Bella" he said looking at me straight in the eyes "but this was really really important and I had to get here as soon as I heard the news" As soon as I heard him call me by my name I knew he was serious.. not honey-bunch or sweetie-pie or any of the ridiculous endearments we called each other in fun.

I glanced out the window looking for Charlie's cruiser even though I knew it wouldn't be there as he had the early shift at the station. "Charlie" I whispered raising my eyes to look at Emmett.

"No No" he shouted at me "as far as I know Charlie's fine" he ran his fingers through his short curly hair " this is much worse." How could anything be worse than thinking your father was injured? I looked up at Emmett not understanding

"How could anything be worse than that?" I asked

Holding the piece of paper I just now noticed in his left hand in front of my face "Mom got a phone call last night when I was out with Rosie..... Edwards coming"

Yip that was definitely worse!

I had personally never met Edward Cullen but I had been dating him for the last 9 months...all thanks to Emmett, his girlfriend Rosalie (or Rosie as her friends called her) and her twin brother Jasper.

It had all started of innocently enough......

_***Flashback***_

_Slowly I turned my head to the side to of the wooden table I had laid it on moments earlier watching my best friends walking towards me. _

_Emmett had been my best friend since kindergarten; when in one of my more spectacular moves I had accidentally taken his trousers down grabbing on to anything to stop myself face-planting onto the floor. When the Hales moved into town 6 months ago and Emmett started dating Rosie, she and Jasper quickly made our little gang of 2 into a gang of 4._

"_What's up honey B?" Emmett asked looking at my pale face, which is saying something as I'm normally whiter than snow._

_Not answering I just looked at the retreating back of Bree Barsanti._

"_What?" Rosie asked following my gaze "What did lesBreean want"_

_I raised my head and looked at them all "Nothing much" I shrugged my shoulder nonchalantly "she just wondered if I would be her date for the Halloween disco"_

_Jasper and Emmett burst into howls of laughter whilst Rosie looked at me in shock. "She What??"_

_she shrieked looking at me closely "tell me you said no or our friendship is definitely over"_

"_Of course I said no Rosie" I shouted back at her"Mike Newton has decided in his infinite wisdom that since I wont date him I'm a lesbian. And now not only have I got the male population of Forks High trying to get into my panties I have some of the females trying to get there too" I raised my hands high in the air in exasperation "Why cant these idiots get it into their thick skulls I'm just not interested in them..... What do I have to do to get them to leave me alone?.... Maybe I should just tell them I'm secretly dating Jasper but we're keeping it quiet so my dad doesn't shoot him or dating Emmett but not telling anyone in case you find out" I was getting hysterical now._

"_That's not a bad idea actually" _

"_WHAT??... you want me to date your brother or your boyfriend?" I looked at her closely "are you completely mad?"_

"_No of course not stupid but if we tell them your dating someone then they might leave you alone long enough for you to find your true love"_

_I looked at her as if she had gone mad "sure Rosie just who am I supposed to be dating and where exactly is he....Forks isn't that big you know."_

"_We'll make him up... he can be your imaginary lover. Someone you met on holiday or over the internet. Who cares? Its not as if he's gonna be here to answer to an interrogation is he?"_

_***End Flashback***_

"What do you mean Edwards coming?...he can't!!..you said he wouldn't.... you promised" I was beginning to panic now.

"I'm sorry Bella" he gazed into my eyes. I could hear the sincerity in his voice. "he called last night while I was out with Rosie. I only found out when I found the note mom left me and I came straight over here."

"Can you phone him back...put him of till next year when I'll be out of here. Tell him you've got the measles, mumps, Ebola virus hell even the bubonic plague anything just keep him away from Forks" I screamed in desperation.

I looked up at him "I'm sorry Bella. He's not just coming for a visit. He's coming to stay for senior year at school. His parents are moving to England for work and he wanted to finish his education here"

I was beginning to regret ever hearing the name Edward Cullen.

_***Flashback***_

"_Right then" Rosalie exclaimed sitting down gracefully on the bench beside me, her left hand clasping the notepad in front of her her right delicately holding a blue pen "So Bella describe to me your ideal man"_

"_Ummm... emmmmm" I stuttered my mind going completely blank_

"_Come on it cant be that hard. Just tell me what you look for in the perfect man. We'll start with the easy stuff first... how tall?" she looked at me expectantly._

"_Well taller than me obviously" I replied_

"_Obviously" she smirked looking down at me. Yeah okay so not everyone could be a tall Amazon like she was. "so over...what? 5 foot … no. That's no good... make it 6 foot" she said scribbling in her notepad. " Okay hair next... colour, length?"_

"_Not blonde definitely not blonde..... no offence Jasper" I stated_

"_None taken Bella"_

"_I just didn't want Newton thinking he had chance.... but then again not dark like Tyler or Eric so that only leaves me with a redhead....Oh God.... my perfect man is a ginger nut" I burst out laughing. This could be fun._

"_NO!!" screamed Rosie in laughter "we can't have you with a carrot top..we'll go with bronze.... That's the colour they use to describe that new hunky actor Rob Pattinson and we'll keep it long just like his" I looked over at her.. she was practically drooling by now._

"_Eh Rosie... boyfriend standing right here you know" Emmett exclaimed_

"_I know Emmy but a girl can dream"_

"_so you dream about him then. Not to sure I like that thought"_

"_Don't worry Emmy... I'll show you later exactly what I dream about" she winked at him and his eyes glazed over._

"_OK back to Bella's ideal man" the change in topic was so quick I almost had whiplash. "Right so far your looking for a 6foot guy with bronze hair. Eye colour?"_

_I looked around me at the forest surrounding the school "Green"_

"_Wow that was a quick choice... Mmmmm green eyes and bronze hair yummy". Rosie giggled._

"_Now we've got his looks down what about personality.... you want a jock, a nerd,a rebel... tell me?"_

_I looked over at the boys. Emmett still had the glazed look in his eyes whilst Jasper was reading his book as usual. He never spoke much but was always there to offer help and advice._

"_I don't know.... I just want a regular guy. Someone strong and athletic like Emmett but intelligent and talented like Jasper. I guess that's too much to hope for."_

"_Nope... never" Rosie looked at me and took my hand in hers "he's your perfect boyfriend.. he can be anything you want him to be." _

_I sighed deeply. Yes he was my perfect man if only he was real. Rosie and I sat there quietly for a few moments. Emmett had to of course interrupt our contemplations._

"_So honey B you got your Mr perfect yet"_

"_Nearly EmmyBear just need a name and a reason for us to be apart."_

"_Lets hear it then.... come on don't keep a guy in suspense... Lets find out what the future Mr Bella Swan looks like"_

_I laughed up at where he was towering over me "OK then...Mr perfect is over 6 foot tall has longish red.. sorry Rosie.... bronze hair and green eyes. He's intelligent,talented, strong, athletic and most importantly no where near Forks.....Now for a name"_

"_Edward"_

"_Huh.. what did you say EmmyBear?"_

"_Edward.... he sounds just like my cousin Edward." he replied "Edward Cullen... red hair, green eyes, tall.. you know...Just that he sounds like Edward._

_I thought for a moment. Edward Cullen... OK it wasn't that great a name but it would do._

"_And where exactly is Edward Cullen?" I asked Emmett_

"_That's the best part...Eddie lives in Florida with his twin sister Alice and their parents.. he never visits Forks. You can tell everyone you met him when he came to visit."_

"_Looks like you got yourself a new boyfriend" Rosie declared. "It is now official.... Bella Swan is off the market in regards to romance. Eddie is a very jealous guy and will kick the ass of anyone who messes with his girl"_

_I laughed. Having an imaginary lover was going to be fun and much less hassle than a real one._

_***End Flashback***_

I looked over at Emmett where he stood running his fingers through his hair

"I'm sorry Bella.... I wish I'd never let you make up this imaginary boyfriend or at least gave him another name"

I stood to give Emmett a hug. "its not your fault EmmyBear. I knew what I was doing. Its simple I'll just need to tell everyone he dumped me when school starts back on Monday. Hopefully they'll have forgotten about it by the time he get here"

Emmett went quiet and his arms tightened slightly around my shoulders. "Emmmmm … about that"

I looked up at his face but he wouldn't look at me. "What?"

"Edwards starting school with us on Monday. He and Alice get here this afternoon"


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

Forks, Washington. If it wasn't for the fact it was home to my Aunt Esme, Uncle Carlisle and cousin Emmett I'd probably have never known that it existed. A place so small and insignificant that it wasn't on most maps. Now it was going to be my home for the next year. Whoopee NOT!

I looked across the aisle to my sister Alice sitting quietly reading her magazine. Hold on ...Alice ..sitting?... quietly?..something was definitely wrong.

"You OK squirt?" I asked "Your very quiet."

"Fine... just thinking" she didn't even look up at me.

"About what?" I was desperate for some conversation by now. This flight was so long and boring, not to mention my ass was numb from sitting for so long. The seatbelt sign was still on, I don't know if it was due to the turbulence or the pilot had forgotten to flick the switch. Personally my money was on the dumb-ass pilot.

"Just stuff.... nothing much" with that said she quickly returned her gaze to the magazine. I sat watching her for another 10 minutes before I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Come on Ali.... talk to me. Are you worried about the move... didn't you want to come? I thought you were looking forward to spending time with Esme, Carlisle and Emmett." I couldn't wait to see Emmett again, it had been over 2 years since his last visit to Florida and though we e-mailed frequently I missed the fun we had when we were together. I knew he had met a girl since his last visit and hoped she and Alice would be friends.

"Humph... no Edward I'm not worried about the move. You know I didn't want to come but I am looking forward to spending time with Carlisle and Esme. Even Emmett if he's matured in the last 2 years which I seriously doubt by the way." she was beginning to glare at me by this point.

"OK.. so your fine with the move... I get it. So your giving me the silent treatment now I was beginning to worry something was wrong."

"Wrong...wrong.. you want to know what's wrong. Really Edward ? Shall I tell you what's wrong?" Alice sat up and nearly shouted into my face.

I was beginning to regret ever opening my mouth but by now she was in mid rant

"We're moving to Forks!... That's what's wrong! Forks...population 2000 and that's including the pets of the little old ladies who dress them up, convinced they're babies! I could have been shopping in London with mom but oh no You wanted to stay in the States. You wanted to graduate high school. You wanted to stay here and get into an Ivy League College. What the hell am I supposed to do in Forks! You do realise there is no mall in Forks, no spa, probably no hair salon,no nightclubs, no night life whatsoever" I think Alice was beginning to resent me.

My eyes were glazing over now, my ears burning, my brain turning to mush. When would I learn to never try and have a conversation with Alice. Someone please kill me now!!

I nodded sympathetically not listening to her any more, a trick I had learnt from my father long ago. When it came to dealing with Alice it was easier to just nod your head, give her your credit card and hope she didn't bankrupt you.

The seatbelt sign went off then and I rose to visit the toilet. Only 3 hours left of the flight, I wondered if I could spend them in here hiding from Alice. She might be half my size but even I wasn't brave enough or stupid enough to go against her when she was going through shopping withdrawal. I washed my hands, opened the door and cautiously looked towards her seat, she appeared to be deep in her magazine again.

I sat back in my seat and thought about my cousin Emmett. I had tried calling his cell several times over the last week to tell him the I was coming to stay but it kept going straight to voicemail and I hated leaving messages on them. He probably didn't know how to retrieve them anyway. I know mom had called Aunt Esme last night to arrange for someone to meet us at the airport. I hoped it was Emmett, that way we could catch up with everything that had been happening over the last couple of years.

*****

"Ladies and Gentlemen we will shortly begin our descent into Seattle Sea-tac. Please ensure seatbelts are securely fastened and trays returned to the upright position. Thank you for flying American Air , we hope you had a pleasant journey"

The captains voice over the intercom woke me from my slumber and I looked over at Alice as I rubbed my face to try to wake myself up more. She looked as fresh as ever, I could only guess at how badly I appeared with my clothes all rumpled and my hair pointing in every direction as usual. Sometimes that pixie could irritate the hell out of me without even trying.

The plane landed smoothly which I was grateful for and I collected mine and Alice's carry-ons from the overhead compartments.

"Catch up on your beauty sleep did you?... Nope you still look like crap!" She laughed as I stumbled half asleep towards the exit. My only response was a growl as I was too tired to think of a reply. I know she wasn't happy about moving to Forks but I was hoping she wouldn't make my life too difficult this year.

"Eddie....Alice... Over here!.....Edddwwwaaarrdd" was shouted as soon as we reached baggage claim. I would recognise that voice anywhere and turned to look over at my cousin and the blonde standing at his side.

"Edward, Alice. I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Rosalie.... but you can call her Rosie." Emmett introduced us and helped me remove our luggage as it came past on the conveyor. Alice stood back and started up a conversation with Rosie, probably trying to find out where the nearest mall was.

"How was the flight?... Where the air hostesses hot?" Emmett received a smack to the back of the head for this question.

"The flight was long, I just want to get to your place and crash for a few hours" I hoped Emmett would take the hint and let me sleep all the way to Forks.

"No problem dude.. we just have to stop by Bella's before we get home"

"Bella?.. you got another girlfriend Rosie doesn't know about?" I joked.

"Nope... but you do.... we just need to go and figure out how your gonna break up before school starts"

"Huh!!.....WHAT!!!"


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV**

"GIRLFRIEND!!" I shouted aloud , people stopped and stared at us. I lowered my voice quickly "what girlfriend?"

Alice just laughed; yeah I guess she thought this was funny

Emmett nervously rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. "Look Eddie why don't we get out of here and I'll explain in the car?" he led us out of the airport towards a small silver Volvo.

I looked at the Volvo and then at Emmett "Emmett... nice car man but where's your Jeep?" I was going to let the Eddie comment pass this time... I was too tired to argue

"the jeep's at home .... this is your car" Emmett threw the car keys at me. "present from your parents since your gonna need to get to school and stuff....Forks doesn't have public transport you know. I thought you'd like to drive home"

I looked at the car and then at the suitcases piled up on the cart beside Alice. "Emmett.. you did realise Alice was coming as well didn't you? And she would be bringing her entire closet. How are we going to fit it all in?"

"we'll put some of them on the back-seat... Alice can sit on them... I forgot to bring her booster seat anyway" Emmett joked looking down at Alice. She glared back at him and kicked his shins before climbing in the back of the volvo. I shrugged as I popped the trunk and started piling in the suitcases.

After placing three cases on the back-seat there was just enough room for Rosie but she quickly climbed into the passenger seat.

"Emmett Cullen there is no way in hell I am squeezing into the back!" she declared. Emmett and I looked at each other.

"Oh hell" I huffed throwing the keys back at him. "guess your driving home 'cos there's no way your gonna fit in here". I folded myself into the back "just get me home quickly so I can get some sleep." Emmett danced around to the drivers door in relief.

He started the engine, looked at me folded up in the back, laughed and pulled away.

"About Bella... " he started before Rosie interrupted him "it's not her fault.. she was having problems with the guys at school so we made up her perfect boyfriend. And when she described him Emmett said he sounded just like you so we gave him your name thinking you'd never visit"

"Well I'm here now aren't I..so I guess we're gonna have to do something about that" I didn't want to make things difficult for this Bella Swan but I most definitely didn't want to spend my senior year with a long term girlfriend.

"Not a problem dude..... we're gonna pop in and see Bella before we head home to arrange when the big break up's gonna be" Emmett spoke up from the front seat.

"What...now?" I looked down at myself.

"well yeah.... I told her we would be there about 5. Think she's as eager to break up as you are."

"No way could she be as eager as me Em... No way"

**BPOV**

I looked at the clock on the wall for what must have been the hundredth time, I was beginning to think that the battery needed changed in it because it was still only had gone to the airport to collect Edward and Alice and was bringing them here to discuss the break up but that was still at least another 2 hours away.

The door bell rang interrupting my frantic pacing. I hurried over even though I knew it was too early for it to be them. Opening the door I was relieved to find my friend Jasper. "hey Bella. Thought I'd keep you company until Mr Perfect gets here."

"He's only perfect when he's miles away from me." I grumbled "what am I going to do if he decides to tell everyone he's never met me before... everyone will think I'm a total loser who had to invent a boyfriend!"

"calm down...I don't think Edward will be like that... from what Emmett says he's an OK guy. I'm sure he'll understand when we explain why we did it" he replied "We've got a couple of hours before they get here... lets go out to the garage to work out some of your stress before then... your gonna be a nervous wreck otherwise."

I didn't really want to go work out but I knew if I stayed inside I was gonna go mad. I ran to my room to get changed into my shorts and sports bra, normally I would have been shy about my outfit but this was Jasper and he had seen it all before.

"Lets go" I shouted at Jasper. Now that I was changed I wanted to go hit something to get rid if the tension I could feel building up in my muscles. We headed out to the garage Charlie had converted into a gym for me last year.

When I was 12 Charlie had given me a pepper spray for my birthday, after explaining to him that I doubted if my attacker would wait the 5 minutes it would take me to find it at the bottom of my bag he had agreed to let me take self defence classes with the women from the La Push reservation (our local gym only had Tai Chi classes, like that was going to help). From those classes I had taken up Tae Kwon Do with the boys and even though Charlie wasn't overjoyed with me fighting guys bigger than me he soon realised that I could take care of myself.

I did a few warm up exercises before strapping my hands and feet in bandages and walking over to the large punch-bag hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room.

"WOW Bella what did the bag do to you?" Jasper joked from the other side of the room where he was working with some weights.

"Shut it!.. I'm imagining its Emmett and this is as close as Rose will let me get to thump him for getting me in this mess" I gasped between punches and kicks.

"Glad its him and not me then." Jasper stood and walked over to the shelves in the far corner. He removed the small black pads used to protect himself and walked towards me.

"Come on lets work on your kicks." Jasper held the wrist pad at shoulder level and I twisted round on my left and kicked it hard. "You know Emmett's really upset about this.. he's glad his cousins come to stay but he's worried about you at the same time" He lifted the pad higher.

I thought about how Emmett must be feeling about all this and started to feel guilty. I knew it wasn't his fault but it was easier to blame someone other than myself.

"I'm just scared he'll think I'm just some stupid girl who's so desperate to be loved she'll make someone up..and he'll make me look like a fool"

"Who ...Emmett?"

"NO.. Edward you idiot." I repeated my earlier move and nearly sent him toppling over with the force from my kick.

" I know... I'm joking, but from what I can gather Edwards not the type to make people look like fools. Come on he's Emmett's cousin so how bad can it be. He knows Emmett's heart was in the right place when he started this. Lets just finish up in here then you can go get ready for them, they should be here soon.

Just then I heard a car pull into the driveway. I looked over at Jasper in panic "They're early.. I can't go out looking like this!"

"Well you can't hide in here." His eyes scanned the room before throwing me a pair of my old sweats I left here months ago. "put these on... and this." He removed his hoody and handed it to me, at least I was covered.

We made our way back into the house just as the front door started thumping and Emmett started shouting

"BELLLAAA.. Mr Prefect's here.....ouch Rose!"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Sorry for taking so long to update but my son was rushed into hospital with meningitis so as you can understand my mind hasn't been really focused on this story. He is now out of hospital and is doing great (better than his parents who are totally drained) so I should be able to update weekly again.**

**Disclaimer: My name isn't Stephenie Meyer therefore I don't own twilight :(**

**BPOV**

I stared at the figures in the doorway, hulking Emmett was rubbing the back of his head where I'm sure **Rosehad** just whacked him, Rose calmly checking that she hadn't broken a nail, a small black haired girl pushing her way past to get into the room.

"Move it folks.... girl on a mission here" she looked around desperately. I realised what she was looking for and pointed to the stairs.

"second on the left" she quickly fled in that direction leaving me to look at Him. Emmett called him Mr Perfect I think he must have been on drugs or something at the time.

I took a long look at the guy in front of me. I guess he was tall or he would be if he stood upright rather than hunched over. His hair was a copper colour but I couldn't really focus to much on the colour I was too busy laughing at the birds nest that was pointing in every direction. I could barely see his eyes for the heavy eyelids over them but they were heavily bloodshot. His nose had a small bump at the bridge as if it had been broken at one time, his jawline had a heavy growth of hair and I wondered when this guy last shaved. The hairy caveman look held no interest for me.

My eyes continued downwards past the rumpled grey button down he wore to the tattered jeans and black converse on his feet, at least he wore decent shoes. I was beginning to think that Emmett was playing some kind of prank on me and had brought along some homeless guy to pretend to be Edward.

I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was a loud snort of laughter.

**EPOV**

Alice pushed me into the door-frame as she rushed past, I was ready to complain but one look at her face was enough to tell me that if I wanted to keep certain parts of my anatomy I should keep my mouth shut.

She hurried through a doorway to her left as I looked at my new and soon to be ex-girlfriend. If this was the most sought after girl at Forks High then this was going to be one hell of a long year!

She was short but not as short as Alice but then only those under the age of 12 were shorter than my sister. I couldn't see what her figure, if she had a figure, was like under the baggy clothes she was wearing. She was staring straight at me so I could clearly see her features…..

I guess her hair had at one time been tied back but had since escaped and was all around her head and shoulders, it looked as if some hairy creature was attacking her head. They say that horses sweat, men perspire and women glow, well she was glowing all right... like a bright red beacon and the bright orange hoody she was wearing did nothing to to distract my attention from her face.

Her heart shaped face was scrunched up as if she was trying to work out the square root of pi in her mind causing her brown eyes to squeeze into slits and then she snorted...loudly like a pig.

"You have to be joking Emmett. I thought you were going to pick up your cousin not some hobo "

Now I know I didn't look that great and I probably smelled worse but come on I had just spent the last 24 hours stuck in either a plane or a very small car with tons of luggage. What was her excuse?

"Listen honey I'm not the one so desperate for a guy that she had to make one up. I can always go into school on Monday and deny ever knowing you" by this time I was getting pissed off with attitude and just wanted to find a bed and sleep.

"Edward! You cant" this from Emmett

"You wouldn't dare" she screeched at me walking right up to me and poking her finger into my chest.

"Who wouldn't? Listen honey I just met you and you know nothing about me or you would know I don't back down from a dare. So don't test my patience"

Emmett placed his big beefy hand on my shoulder pulling me away from the raging girl in front of me, her face was even more red than previously if that was possible. For the first time I felt as if I had the upper hand in this madness.

"OKAY Everyone just calm down! Geez I haven't even introduced you yet and your ready to kill each other. How the hell are you going to pretend to be dating for four weeks" Emmett yelled at us.

Four weeks! No way could I stand being around this harpy for that long I would go insane.

"One week Emmett. I might manage one week but no way am I doing four" I counter-offered.

"Three weeks and I get to break up with you at Newtons birthday party" the banshee exclaimed.

"One week!" I was not going to change my mind on this.

"Not very intelligent are you? Its called negotiating or is that too big a word for you, I say three weeks and you come back with two. Why couldn't you get some-one with brains?"she looked at Emmett

" I would but one week is about all I could stand being anywhere near you and there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind"

Just then a new voice entered the negotiations " Edward!.. You will date Bella for three weeks AND be the loving boyfriend during this time AND you will allow her to break up with you in front of everyone at this birthday party!"

I looked over at the small figure standing in the hallway "Alice there is no way I am dating this banshee for three weeks and there is nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind"

She glared at me and held up her hand as if to stop me "Really Edward your betting against me? I have only two thing to say about that."

I held my breath and wondered what the evil pixie was going to say next, we had always been close as children and up until a few months ago had known all my secrets.

"BooBoo and Mr Wrinkly"

Damn I guess I had a girlfriend for the next three weeks!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thanks guys you are all amazing. I got more reviews for the last chapter than the previous three combined I guess you all want to know who Booboo and Mr Wrinkly are? Think I might keep it secret for a little longer.... as if I would be that cruel.**

**Disclaimer: Thinking of changing my name to Stephenie Meyer but I still wouldn't own Twilight :(**

**EPOV**

It was at times like this I wished I was an only child, not only have I the evil pixie Alice as a sister but thanks to her interfering big mouth I was also stuck with the equally evil banshee Bella as a girlfriend for the next three weeks. Family was supposed to stick together at times of trouble but someone should have told Alice, at least I could still rely on Emmett

"Yo cuz... you ready for your first day" I hastily finished dressing and opened the bedroom door to a smiling Emmett. He jumped onto my bed and started pulling the covers and pillows off.

"What the hell are you doing?" I questioned as he continued destroying my room, pulling at drawers and opening my closet.

"Nothing" He looked around guiltily "err... Rosie lost an ear-ring...yeah an ear-ring.. emm yesterday..yeah yesterday when we were getting your room ready. I'm...err.. I'm just looking to see if I can find it."

I looked at him suspiciously "Well if I find it I'll let you know OK. Can we go get Alice and get to school now, I want this day over and done with." I was not looking forward to meeting the banshee, somehow I knew that she was going to make the next three weeks of my life here in Forks as painful as possible.

Emmett closed my closet door and placed his large arms over my shoulder " Alice already left."

"Huh? How could she already have left? Where did she go? She doesn't even know where the school is?"

"Yeah. She took the Volvo, she's gonna pick up Rosie and head over to Bella's. Something about making sure she had the right outfit and they all matched" He suddenly burst out laughing "Wonder if she'll get Bella to wear a skirt, that I would pay good money for" Still laughing he headed out of the room and downstairs in search of food.

Esme was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Bacon,scrambled eggs and pancakes were piled high on the counter. "Take those through to the dining room boys. I'll be in with more shortly"

"More?" I questioned. How many people did she think she was cooking for? There was only Emmett and I in the room.

"Yes Edward...more. Jasper is already in there waiting and if there is one thing I know about teenage boys they eat... a lot" We carried the overflowing plates into the dining room.

"Yo Jazz! Wake up dude" Jasper raised his head from the table.

"Emmett, Edward"was all he acknowledged before slumping back down.

"Should have stayed in bed longer man if your so tired. Here this will wake your sorry ass up" Emmett placed a large mug of strong black coffee in front of him.

"Would have if some freaky black haired pixie hadn't been ringing the doorbell at the ass-crack of dawn."

"Sorry man" all I could do was apologise "Alice … is well Alice. She thinks everyone should be a bundle of energy in the morning like she is."

"not your fault man. Just handcuff her to the bed tonight please. I can't do this two mornings in a row." the coffee was beginning to work its magic and bring him to life. Esme chose that moment to enter and place another plate of bacon on the table. Three pairs of hands reached over to snatch a piece and soon it disappeared along with the food we had brought in with us.

Emmett stood and snatched his jacket from the back of the chair "lets go get our girls"

"Our girls?... hey only you and Mr Perfect here have girls.. I'm free, single and staying that way thanks very much"

I hate that nickname the guys had started calling me, even Eddie was preferable!!!

Emmett's arm reached round his neck to bring him close enough to loudly whisper in his ear " Alice is still available you know?"

His shudder was all the answer I needed to that statement.

**BPOV**

Rosalie and Alice had turned up at my door half an hour ago and were at the moment pulling my room apart.

"Nope..nope... maybe... nope..hell no... nope. Bella don't you have any decent clothes" Alice's voice was muffled coming from the back of my closet.

I couldn't understand the question "What do you mean decent? They keep me warm in this weather, cover up the parts that need covered and most of all they're comfortable" I liked my clothes they helped me fade into the background.

"All you have in here are sweatpants, hoodies and baggie jeans. Don't you own any skirts or skinny jeans? You know... something that shows your female and have the figure to prove it?"

"Hey!! my clothing isn't that bad and anyway I've spent the last three years trying to hide from the creeps at Forks High remember." I looked at Alice as she dragged a box out from my closet. "those aren't mine."

"Whose are they then?"

"They were my mom's, she left them here before she left. I guess I should put them in the attic with the rest of her stuff" I went to grab the box from her.

"WAIT... lets see what is in here first we might be able to use some of it." she started pulling open the box.

"Alice this stuff is as old as me. I don't think your going to find anything salvageable." I laughed at her.

"Okay Bella listen carefully I'm going to tell you this only once." she stared straight into my eyes "One.. never and I mean never bet against me, two.. fashion and by fashion I mean clothing and accessories are my life so never repeat never joke about it and lastly but most importantly you and I are going to be great friends and make my brothers life hell" she laughed punching me on the arm

"OWW... your evil you know that" I rubbed my arm for a small girl she threw one hell of a punch, maybe she should take up tai-kwon-do I think she'd be good at it. I'll need to ask her later.

"I know but you still love me right"she delved into the box "oh my god Bella some of this stuff is amazing." she held a short mini kilt up to my waist "much better than what's in your closet"

I backed away from her carefully "Hell NO NO … No … no. There is no way you are getting me to wear that Alice. I don't do skirts.

"Bella... you trust me don't you? Just try it on and if you don't like it we'll find something else" she looked up at me pleadingly from the bed.

I grabbed the skirt and scrap of material she held out to me and headed off to the bathroom "Better start looking for something else then because I know I'm not going to like it" I quickly changed and stomped back into my room.

"Okay lets get the laughing over and done with so I can get dressed properly and get to school." Entering my room Rosalie and Alice silently stared at me.

"Wow Bella now I know why Bree wanted into your pants" I looked at Rosalie in shock she was still staring at me and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Stop it Rose I know I look ridiculous" I could feel my cheeks warming and knew my blush was covering my face

"Um.. not the word I'd use. More like hott. God Bella ..Edward is gonna freak out when he sees you" Alice laughed.

"What NO! I'm not wearing this to school. I feel like an idiot" there was no way they could get me to agree to wearing this.

"Please please please Bella just think what all the guys at school will think." Rosalie begged, I had never seen her beg for anything before "The look on Emmett's and Jaspers face when they realise you've all grown up. You know they think of you as one of the guys but can you just imagine it when they realise your a girl and you can still kick their asses." my resistance was failing and then Alice piped up with the one thing that could totally convince me.

"Edwards face when he realises who you are is going to be priceless"

OK so maybe I hadn't made a good impression on Saturday but I had just finished a workout with Jasper, he didn't have to be so cruel and call me an ugly evil banshee. Oh yes I was going to make him pay.

I walked over to my vanity table and sat down. If I was going to do this I was going to do it right.

"Okay girls do your worst. Operation Make Edwards Life Hell has begun" I sat back in my chair as Alice cackled behind me, I think she was enjoying this a bit too much.

**EPOV**

Emmett, Jasper and I were leaning against the hood of his jeep. I was trying to ignore the stares and whispers from the students around me. A group of girls had been checking me out for the last five minutes, giggling and looking away whenever I glanced over.

"That's Lauren, Jessica and Tanya. You'll keep clear of them if you know what's good for you" I was about to tell Jasper that I wasn't interested in them when the Volvo drove into the school car park.

"Girls are here"Emmett ran forward and opened the driver door for Rosalie to step out.

"Baby I missed you" but then he stepped back and looked as if he was in shock.

"Oh I missed you too Smoochynooking" a pair of shapely legs exited the car and placed their shoe clad feet onto the cement. I wondered why Emmett was so surprised, it wasn't as though he hadn't seen Rosalie in a skirt before.

"Bella?" he squeaked. Wait those legs belonged to Bella? Evil harpy Bella? Screaming Banshee Bella?

She continued exiting from the Volvo and I got my first look at her and I couldn't stop myself from staring. Glorious brown hair fell in waves down her back stopping just below her shoulder blades. Her eyes were the chocolate brown and I could feel them drawing me in. High cheekbones in a heart shaped face. She was beautiful, maybe the next three weeks wouldn't be so bad. Wonder if she would like to extend it, maybe make it real?

"Yes Emmett. Who else gets to call you smoochynooking? I would call you my darling little teddy bear but that's reserved for Edward now" She joked with Emmett before looking at me and her face turned to one of anger.

She walked over to me, reached up and patted my cheek as if I was a child.

"Ain't that right BooBoo?"

**A/N**

**So there you go most of you correctly guessed that BooBoo was Edwards teddy bears (named after my sons...heehee he's 19 now but still has it hidden in his memory box and doesn't know its there... cant wait to embarrass him with it). **

**So how evil should the girls be to Edward? Should Edward be evil back or is he too much of a gentleman? Send me your ideas guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Sorry, sorry a thousand apologies for the delay in updating . RL has been so stressful and depressing that I would probably have Bella stealing Charlie's gun, shooting Edward then committing suicide in the mood I was in. Somehow I didn't think you guys would have appreciated that!**

**I'm looking for a beta reader to help me with my americanisation, grammar, punctuation but most importantly to give me a kick up the backside when I put off writing!**

**BPOV**

I had just stood up from exiting Alice's car, my legs were shaking and I was feeling slightly nauseous though I'm not sure if this was due to her driving or the Greek god in front of me. Where was the hobo from Saturday, I could handle him …. this guy I wasn't so sure about.

I shakily reached my hand up and touched him on the face, oh my god his skin was so soft who would have thought that under all that scruff from Saturday there would be a face like this. I had to forcibly move my hand away but it kept going back, anyone would think I was patting a dog.

Breathe Bella... breathe I told myself remember your angry at this guy don't let him get to you!

I looked him straight in the eyes "Ain't that right BooBoo" I turned and headed towards the school door. I hoped to pull off the classic 180 degree swivel and walk away but that was all ruined by my best or should I call him my former best friend

"Bellaaa" Emmett's screech was so high pitched I had to double check it was coming from him. He started taking his top off. "cover yourself up...your practically naked" he started walking over to me trying to put his hoody over my outfit.

"Step away from the girl and no-one gets hurt" I couldn't believe tiny Alice was squaring up to the giant known as Emmett and he was the one looking scared. Damn, I'm glad she was on my team!

Emmett gestured at my outfit his face getting redder by the second "But..but.. but." Wow this is the first time I've ever seen him speechless I wonder if he's going to hyperventilate.

"But what Emmett? You've seen me in less. Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing" I knew for a fact that Rose often wore skirts and dresses shorter than mine for him.

"There's nothing wrong with the outfit but you cant wear an outfit like that to school Bella" by this time he was trying frantically to hide me behind his massive body.

"Why the hell not? Give me one good reason why not." I had felt pretty damn confident this morning when I looked in the mirror after my make-over but Emmett was making me feel more self-conscious than ever.

" One! How about I give you three" he groaned

"Number one... Eric Yorkie is drooling at the mouth as if he was at an all you can eat Bella Buffet" I looked to my left and sure enough there was Eric making an amazing impersonation of a St Bernard.

"Number two...Tyler Crowley has been so busy ogling your ass he just walked into the side of his van" true enough Tyler was busy trying to raise himself from the ground while not taking his eyes off me.

"Number three... and probably the most disgusting of them all." he shuddered "I think Mike Newton has just jizzed himself in his pants" I'll trust him on this one because there was no way in hell I was going to look over ..eww.

I looked up into Emmett's face and saw the concern in his eyes, normally I would have taken his feelings into consideration but today I had to toughen up, put on the big girl panties and let the inner bitch take over. I pulled him down to me and whispered in his ear "I know you love me Emmybear and want to take care of me but I have to do this. I have to show Edward that I'm not a complete loser and only made him up out of desperation so for the next three weeks I'm going to make his life hell in private but be the perfect girlfriend in public. Please don't make this any more difficult, I would like to have you on my side for this"

"But Bella its not a matter of taking sides. You and Edward need to work together for this to work. He wouldn't be doing this for you if he wasn't on your side and getting him angry isn't going to help any. Remember he's the one doing you a favour here"

"But he called me names and laughed at me" I knew I was whining like a 3 year old but I couldn't help it. I could feel my eyes begin to water normally this was a good thing as Emmett could never resist a girl crying but today I was wearing make up and the panda look would not help me.

"And you called him a hobo and told him he stank remember. You were as bad as each other on Saturday so maybe your perfect for each other after all. I'm just saying baby B that you need him so be nice. He is my cousin and your my best friend, don't ask me to take sides because I can't. Think of me as neutral territory, Switzerland."

I thought about what Emmett was saying, I knew that he was right I needed Edward. This was going to be harder than I thought, could I really throw away the hurt and anger I felt for this guy and be the perfect girlfriend for the next three weeks.

**EPOV**

I stood there and watched as she walked away to talk with my cousin. They looked to be arguing about something and I tried to listen in on their conversation but they were keeping their voices too low, at times like this I wish I could read their minds.

Alice and Rose were still standing beside the Volvo and alternating between giving me the evil eye and laughing at me. I wonder what other secrets Alice was revealing.

Jasper nudged me in the side and brought me back from my thoughts. "Man I didn't recognise Bella and I've known her for almost a year now. If I had known she could look this good I would have asked her on a date long ago and she wouldn't have had to make you up"

"Huh!"

"I'm just saying Bella's looking really fine. Maybe I'll ask her out when she dumps you"

What was he on about... dumping me? Oh That's right this is only pretend for the next three weeks. But did I want it to end?

Yes... I wanted to be free to enjoy my senior year.

No... from what I had been told Bella was feisty, intelligent and loyal to her friends.

Yes... I could get my own girlfriend if I wanted, someone of my own choosing.

No... she was beautiful, much better than the other girls I had seen so far.

Yes..no..yes...no I was having problems deciding. I took a deep breath and relaxed for the first time since the girls had driven up. I didn't have to make my decision today I had time.

I lifted my backpack onto my shoulder and walked towards Bella and Emmett who had stopped arguing and were staring at each other. If I was going to do this I was going to do it right.

I placed my left arm around Bella's shoulders and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I'm sorry for calling you names. Forgive me?"

She looked up at me with her doe eyes and looked pointedly at my arm over her shoulder.

"We have an audience" I glanced over at the girls Jasper had warned me about earlier, I couldn't remember their names.

Bella's arm snaked round my waist but I could tell she was tense "Oh"

"Relax. I'm only doing what any boyfriend would do. Marking my territory and telling other guys to get lost. If you want me to stop just say so."

"No it's fine. I just never thought about things like that maybe I should start marking my own territory. Guess I don't know how to be a girlfriend … wonder if the library has any self-help books"

"So do you forgive me?"

"Sure I forgive you... but..."

I looked at her in confusion "But what?"

she giggled playfully and skipped away from my side. "Do it again and I'll tell Emmett about Mr Wrinkly"

I could feel the blush rising in my face. I couldn't believe she knew about that!

I turned and glared at my sister "Aliiiccee!"

She turned her head and looked at my red face before turning back to Rose and laughing. I can't believe it...she just laughed!

**A/N review, review review its what's keeping me from killing off Mr Wrinkly!**


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